I am 17, going on...

Over the past couple years, I've become aware of new 21st century phase of development commonly referred to as "emerging adulthood," occurring between the teenager years and becoming a "real" adult. While in college the term fascinated me, and I related a lot to the story many commentators were telling about my generation. College and jobs work differently, we marry later, we pretty much just think differently due to when what's going on in our lives, etc. Fascinating stuff.

Now that I've graduated, I'm not sure I can speak of such theories so positively. I just read a review of a book on evangelism to postmodern skeptics, which broke off into an aside about "emerging adulthood." I read a sentence that made me squirm:

"Thus, today's 22-year-old is the developmental equivalent of a 17-year-old in 1980."

On the Myers-Briggs I'm a strong E, even stronger N. But my F and J battle T and P for first place. This was one of those moments I felt my inner F and T going at it. T insisted I look at this objectively: he cites books and research to back up his claims, and he says it to help others understand ministry to my generation. He's a Fuller professor, which surely means he's reasonable and good-hearted, and that's an area I'd like to study further myself. For T, the factoid was much appreciated.

I can't say the same of F. F got squirmy and grimaced. Was that supposed to sting? What area of development is he talking about? If nobody respected me as an almost-22-year-old, who's going to respect me now? Even though an earlier paragraph speaks of the importance of trust and respect in evangelistic relationships with postmoderns, what kind of cheap respect are we being offered? (You will note the very odd expectation that respect is to some degree ascribed but not only to elders... My concerns definitely spring from my cultural biases, and I'm not even certain where that kind of bias comes from.)

And most of all, it feels like it was all sort of for nothing. Adolesence. Pretty much every day of high school, I heard middle-aged adults speak as if we teenagers were the bane of their existence, and I ached to graduate. It was always somewhat disorienting to move from Greensboro Day, a private high school that offered more freedom and responsibility to its students with every new year, to the "real world" in which few thought young people were so capable.

The same awkward transition is occurring today: InterVarsity spoiled me with staff that insisted upon calling us "women and men" (instead of "guys and girls"), let us lead a 300-person chapter, and truly invested in us. Like an older sister or a kind uncle, they spent time with us as buddies, as well as mentors. They told us we had something to offer, and thankfully, we were crazy enough to believe them. I believe the way InterVarsity develops young indigenous leadership is truly countercultural.

It's an odd thing now. In InterVarsity, I felt more adult than I ever had. (Of course, I suppose, I was the oldest I'd ever been at that point.) Now, I think times are frustrating for all of us. We are fairly grown-up in some ways—rent and bachelorette parties and even babies for a few. We are taking "one last big family vacation" and sipping drinks after dinner and applying for new credit cards and paying off—or opening—loans for tens of thousands of dollars. We're even investing seriously in our futures by going to therapy to work out some of the things that didn't develop quite as they should have.

At the same time, my friend who's getting married this weekend will have to live in her parents' basement for a few months at the very least. Nobody I know that was intending to join the work force can find a job that pays living expenses or uses their gifts to any mild extent. (We all hate the economy right now-- it feels like it's intentionally screwing over the class of 2008 some days, as I'm sure every segment of the population also imagines of its own troubles.)

So while we are "adult," it's true that our lives look much more similar to the college years than we ever intended. And now, on top of that, we have the privilege of hearing that research shows we're not even past high school yet. My inner F responds with an exasperated, "Are you serious? I just got through college only to find out I'm still 17? Thanks a lot, buddy!"

(Of course, when I was 17, I would have been offended a 21-year-old didn't want to be me...)

At this point, I'm trying to cherish being almost-22. But some days, I absolutely cannot wait to be thirty-one or twenty-eight. Or even just old enough to rent a car. Really, people. I am hoping living with a 30-ish woman (in addition to another 22yo '08 grad) and attending seminary with an age-diverse student body will allow me to reclaim at least half the years I've supposedly lost. What do you think, friends? Think I can at least achieve 19 or 20 by the end of the first quarter? Maybe if I try really hard...