Redeeming Whiteness I

For so long I've struggled to accept myself as a white person. It is so easy to think of nothing but the terrible things my people have done. Things just snowball when you consider the fact that I'm a private school kid, a doctor's kid, a 27408 kid. Those labels wouldn't have meaning to me or to others in the world or in Greensboro if they weren't significant. Those experiences have shaped me. And they have demostrate a lot of the injustices in our nation. It's so hard for me to own that sometimes. Other times I own it the way some desire, though, which I also think is bad. I need to see my sin and my people's sin-- but will it get me anywhere to make that my name?

Today we had an amazing Bible study based on a passage Marshall had studied at a multi-ethnic staff conference with InterVarsity as one of only a few white people there in a track about white identity. We studied the end of Genesis 32 when Jacob wrestled with God. I never made a lot of this passage. I never really "got" it. Now I'm just blown away by the hope and richness of this Scripture.

Jacob's name came from the fact that he grabbed his brother's heal during birth, and right along with his name, Jacob was a grabber-- he grabbed his brother's birthright through bargaining, his brother's blessing through deception, his uncle's sheep through other sorts of trickyness... he let a grabber be his name.

God looked down and grabber-Jacob and literally grabbed him, wrestling him for a long period of time. When dawn came, Jacob received a new name, "one who struggles with God," Israel. Just as God grabbed Jacob and struggled with him, God says, now Jacob, you will struggle with me, you will wrestle me, you will hold onto me, you will sometimes try to control me, but whatever the case, I will be the one you grab.

How powerful is that? God could have taken Jacob the grabber and made him Jacob the giver or Jacob the joyful or Jacob the peacemaker. But instead of changing his identity, God took Jacob's identity and redeemed it. Jacob was still a grabber, just a new kind of grabber.

The implications for us as individuals and as cultural groups is huge. It is so easy to identify those parts of ourselves or our cultures that have been used for bad and to reject them entirely. To hate ourselves, to hate our families, to hate our people. We call ourselves and are called certain names-- unloved, oppressor, ignorant, unrelational. Sometimes it seems the names given to us or our people are unchangable. We want God to make us into something new, something completely different.

But God has a better plan. Instead of forcing us to change who we are entirely, God is able to restore us. Yes, he makes us new-- he renews our true selves so that we might use what was once used for evil for good. I don't believe there is any person or culture without at least some kingdom values. Whatever self-hatred we carry need not be a burden any longer. We are not only accepted as we are, but God works through who we are.

I have long known that white culture can be positive, but it was so refreshing and encouraging to have a story to claim as my own, to be able to relate to Jacob. vI want you to know if you're white that God can redeem your white culture, your privilege, everything you have. It doesn't mean you shouldn't learn about other cultures (God can teach you a lot through them) or shouldn't have reconciling relationships with others ("horizontal" reconcilation is as core to the gospel as "vertical" reconcilation with God) or won't have to correct any past or present injustices (or admit that our cultural values sometimes encourage them). But as a white person, God can redeem the same values that when applied the wrong way have been used by Satan to kill, steal, and destroy and use those values to further his kingdom in ways it might be harder for a believer of another culture to serve.

Who you are is beautiful and important to God. He is pleased with how he created you, and he's pleased with the way your culture reflects his glory and truth. God doesn't want to change your name from white to black (though there's nothing wrong with appreciating black culture) or from white to Indian (though there's nothing wrong with appreciating Indian culture) or from white to cultureless (though not even anything wrong with being confused about what culture you most identify with!). Instead God wants to change your name from "white person who lives out of the flesh" to "white person that lives out of the Spirit."

In Christ that is your true identity, that is your new name. Your body stays the same. Your personality stays the same. Your culture stays the same. But your identity in Christ changes what you express through all those things. If you're a white person, know that God has given you a new name: Not money-hoarder but wealth-sharer. Not over-structured but administratively gifted. Not unable-to-see-social-sin but able-to-care-for-individuals'-special-needs. God can use you as a white person in ways it would be much harder to use someone of another ethnicity and culture. Your culture may have been used for evil in the past, but God has plans, good works prepared in advance for us to do, that can use these traits and values positively.

I encourage you to understand the old names-- whether self-given or labels from the outside world-- you identify with and to conciously reject them for the better, positive, whole "mirrors" they have in God's kingdom. You no longer need to live with the guilt and shame of your old name. Ask God to help you learn what new names he wants to give you-- individually, as a person of your culture, whatever-- and really claim those. Live those. Enjoy being free in Christ to enjoy this kind of restoration and wholeness.

With all this being-white frustration and the promise of redemption together in my heart, I decided to write a rap. I hope that somewhere in it you can find the hope of God's redemption, whatever ethnicity you are.